By Saad Saleem, TS1

Every campus has to have one of these. Raised in Jersey City, Edison or any Indian populated city in America, these guys do their best to replicate the style of a black man. Don’t get me wrong, every brown man wishes he had certain characteristics of a black man. OK that’s a wrong statement. Every brown man wishes he had one characteristic – a black man’s certain possession; everything else regarding a black man he doesn’t give a shit about. For black men, life is a big trade off. You’re blessed with big things but you also got the po-po’s on your bum. Getting back to our point, there are way too many desi guys acting like thugs.

It’s simple to identify super thugs: Read the rest of this entry »

The Textile Institute of Pakistan’s The people who C.A.R.E (Currently Are Really Envious) have issued a warning to all related industries to watch out for these miscreants, as they have a reputation for being most devious in nature. Informants have revealed that they have cells which can operate independently without active leadership – Khalifagiri.

Anyone who has their whereabouts please inform the class of TS4A Batch 2008, so necessary cheera’s can be deployed.

Read the rest of this entry »

Wishing that this month brings tranquility and peace in the world, teaching Muslims in this country and beyond the lessons that they have stopped learning.

Let us learn to be tolerant and forgiving, once again.

We’ve been saying “Welcome freshmen” for a long time now, but considering that the times have come when we should strive to maintain the Pakistan-iyat of our identity, we’ve decided to welcome you in the good ol’ mother tongue. However, thats about the extent our urdu goes. It’s disgusting- we know- and we’re not proud but hey like everything else, let’s blame it on the Establishment. Down with Evil Capitalistic forces of Evil!

We digress.

This year might be a bit different considering that Read the rest of this entry »

Quack! Online has been your independent student newspaper for 5 years today.

Hats off to the readers and writers of Quack! Online.

We live in a society which is crammed with so many problems that we can never imagine of, Pakistani society had always been the victim of social issues, religious issues, bad governance, poverty and lawlessness. Another important concern is the standard of living our people enjoy. Filthy streets to poor sewerage systems, most of the residence localities of Pakistan are in abstract conditions. These poor sanitary and sewerage conditions result in the birth of numerous diseases and infections. Hence, from infant children to aged people, every age group of our society is the victim of malaria, TB, AIDS, cancer and other malignant diseases. The sad thing is that a major part of our patients are children as well ranging from the ages of 2 years to 10 years. Read the rest of this entry »

Life is a gift from God. A gift which we never request for, a gift which permits us to use it the way we want, a gift which significance is not realized by many of us and surely a gift through which we can decide about our destiny as well. Life is not a continuous process. It is limited in terms of time and opportunities. It is short and we have to obtain (what ever we want to), in this short span of time. Life is like a cricket game where you have to play each and every ball according to its merit. Life is a war and you have to struggle against the evil sources. Hence, life is a whole parcel of opportunities, desires and constant fighting between love and evil sources. Read the rest of this entry »