Keachar Feature III – I Like To Capitalize My Ds

Back from the toilet. Excuse me… but I have weak digestion, especially when it comes to heavy food!

And if there are some of you who thought that was alright, well then I’ve got more lined up. No it’s not Frizy Prizy’s afternoon menu. I mean… I Do have a life! It’s TS2-D!’s natural affinity for Drag. I mean… I really Do have a life!

Okay so guys cross-Dressing and then pretending to be supermodels were probably still remotely acceptable. But these D! people really crossed the line this time with extramarital affairs. Or should I say it’s their sub-conscience silently whispering homosexual D!esires into their ears. How D!emented is that! Oh wait. I forgot. They’re from TS2-D! These D!esires are inherent! So; what was the play called. Desperate Housewives?

Seriously, what is wrong with the men at TIP? Why can’t they pretend to be men or straight, just for once? And why can’t the women be more confident and act on stage? Jab number barhhane hote hain to barhe barhe D!raamein karleti hain!

So yes. with men in D!rag, I’m not surprised the annual D!ay was a D!rag too. I wonder where they got themselves waxed from. Bhabi’s? Since when did Bhabi’s start grooming men?

I heard the AC also got D!/c halfway through all the D!rama? And as a result the fourth year designers were deprived of their rights, once again! Oh well. better D!eprived of rights than a minD!

And this isn’t how the ‘Golden Night’ ended… keep your D!iapers on; there’s more D!rama! So I also heard that a nearby residence had been robbed and to avoid the police at the Toll Plaza, the D!aakus Sought refuge in TIPs gloomy shadows. Maybe that explains a whole lot about the sudden increase in on-campus robberies! Anyway, in an attempt to protect all the girls in the girls’ hostel and the D!rag Queens in the boys’ hostel, everybody was shifted into the boys’ hostel. Yes you heard me right. For the first time in TIP’s history, the girls where officially allowed into the boys hostel – the emphasis on officially allowed! ‘D!hak D!hak karne laga… mora jiyara Darne laga…’, only it wasn’t Madhuri, rather it was a bunch of male D!espos D!irty D!ancing with their maler companions.

From D!esperate Housewives to D!esperate D!ormmates… still trying to figure out which one’s more D!eranged – food for D!arrhoea!

24 Replies to “Keachar Feature III – I Like To Capitalize My Ds”

  1. 😀 you’re right, we really need female actors. but you know what we need more? decent female roles that D!ont involve dancing around in a tank top. for those you’ll have to rely on the D!rag queens of TIP.

  2. Nice article Arsalan……..I was the one who played the girls role in that Skit ….. lakin i m STRAIGHT….Pakka……. i cant deny the fact that the skit was really vulgar……… but ab to hoo gya :(…. but next time i’ll try to make a skit free from any “VULGARITY” plus will also try to fix a scenee for a girl (not me at all) but a “real girl”…… but to play that role i wish i’ll find girl(s) voluntarily coming to play…. Also Hira if you have any theme that you think should be portrayed you may give it to me so that i can portray something free from any vulgarity plus with the contribution of girl(s)………. [I Dance Good na ….. :):)] just kidding

  3. hah ! wow its like someone always has to make ur live worst then it already is. i guess its in
    the blood of tipian that if you cant do
    something dont let anyone do it. firstly to get the facts straight, it was not because of the drama that TDT 4 were deprived of their rights, it was because of bad management. then there was the qawal hassan band ? but still as mr santa claws said all the blame has to go toward D! ? . i was actually on stage when this whole incident took place and we were about to start with the fourth year designers when all of a sudden ppl started leaving the auditorium. oh yes! this was also our fault and D! should be blamed. i mean what the fudge ? where were u ppl… you should have stayed indoors and it would have continued anothr thing which u should knoe iz that yeah, it was arsalan(TS2-D!) who went to the designers and appologized for all the incident.

    abut the drama we knoe that it was a little vulgur and we accept it. next time we will try to be more careful, but then again majority of the ppl appreciated us. abut girls participation ? well hah u knoe it isnt really possible cause none of the grls are actually intrusted in participating and if thy r abhi tak i guess koi tu bana chahetha ? lastly who are you(arsalan) to say such things … u havent even done any such thingz nor hv participated ? drama festival mein the only two drama that went on air were ours? so atleast we r tryin to do something rather then just braggin abut it ? plus u r the same ppl who watch friends and desperate house wife and say ke kia baat hai wah wah .. thy do the same x jokes dude bas english mein hote hai.. oh now i gt the picture .. jo english mein hai wo set hai baqi sub chichora pan !!

    chill

    i guess dis should also be printed and place on the board so tht everyone gets the propr picture

    !! ASIM KIDHER HAI BHAII !!!

  4. Well…I don’t know y everyone in TIP love to critique every other person…(pata nahi apna kam sa kam kyoun nahi rakhta)…… those who say tht D! drama was vulgar …(y don’t they close their eyes ! ……yar frm next time v will write PG-18 on entry door ………tu arsalan tum nahi ana……lolz)… … y don’t they think tht hell ov a hardwork was behind it………….n arsalan tum sa aab tak apna magazine tuu publish ho nahi saka aur tum dosroo ko bolta hoo..atleast D! na khuch perform tuu kar ka dikhaya na…… …….….frm last two years v D! ppl trying our level best to produce quality drama …in last semester drama festival v hve produce two dramas n rest ov all TIP did nothing except Qawal Hassan Band.
    I accept tht drama was vulgar but it doesn’t mean tht har dosra banda bola…..agar itna asan lagta haa tuu khud aap kyoun nahi live drame perform karta…….n in the future v will try our level best to produce tht doesn’t contain any kind ov vulgarity..but lil bit ov appreciation is required frm audience ……D!…….

  5. Bilal,it’s great to see that you have stood up to take responsibility and are taking criticism positively to construct rather than swallow it up with severe indigestion.

    Glad to hear from you. It’s good to have you around.

  6. yes, that’s an awfully nice gesture. very appreciated. so how would u like to work with quack?

  7. Arsalan nice effort!
    you have used all your vocabs of D!
    yaar the drama was vulgar but tell me onething why the audience was laughfing? if some one dont want to see the stage drama then why wasnt he go out of the audi? it was so that they were fascinating in the auditorium and when the play was over they were making critism that the drama was vulgar. yaar that’s hypocrisy!
    another thing which should be remember that that the drama was the urdu version of the girls next door! Yes the holywood movie. if the TISF plays that movie then whats the problem with the drama which i believe has very least valgarity then the original movie had?
    seondly, in the next stage drama D! would announce that this contains valgarity. if any one dont want to see theen he/she would be allowed to go. then u’ll see no one should leave!
    D!

  8. Nice D! vocabulary mate!!…Why don’t you be a part of it???..Again we did something and like always we were criticized, which is nothing unusual..We are glad that at least people are talking about it…I just wonder why people in TIP just keep on criticizing just for the sake of criticism..I accept that it was a bit vulgar and we will try to come up with better productions in future, but it was done for the masses of TIP who really enjoyed it..But there should be some positive constructive criticism..But my friend who wrote this brilliant article just went on blistering the whole skit..i think the time has come when everyone in TIP should start thinking about what should be done in order to make things better rather than just keep on denunciating them..As far as the matter of girls performing in skits is concerned i think they should some forward..they should be active participants in the activities which they have never been..i think there are a few girls in the TIP Dramatics but as far as i remember, they never came up with anything creative, or i should say they never came up with anything at all..At least we came up with something to show the audience no matter how it was..after all something is better than nothing…
    If you people who always keep on just bashing things around, open your minds and start thinking positively to make things better it would be in the best interest of all the TIPians…its a sincere and true request from the bottom of my heart to all you critics out there…
    Oopss i forgot..my friend suggested very rightly that the skit should have been titled as “Desperate Housewives”…Thanks pal.Next time we will surely come to you to suggest a suitable title…

  9. @ Waqas and Ahsan…
    God you guys are so D!elusional…
    Yes… I love Friends and I love Desperate Housewives and I love Sex And The City… and I am also a die-hard fan of Bollywood (madhuri)… But it’s not the vulgarity that I’m criticizing, it’s the cross-dressing. We all know that a lot of the girls at TIP aren’t all the comfortable with performing on stage… which shouldn’t be the case. But… sadly… if it is… then why write a play with female characters? Why must the men D!sgrace themselves by dressing up like women? Write a play based on men only… and toss in a couple ok sick jokes… that’s alright… isn’t it?

    @ Ahsan especially…
    If I haven’t done anything on the drama front… then neither have you done anything for the magazine… so watch it!

    @ Furqan…
    Being a stage performer… you should be able to tell when you’re actually being cheered or mocked!

    And… as far as the designers bit… no I wasn’t blaming D for it… that part was left open for interpretations

    Good lord… I can’t believe that people over here are so D!umb that I actually have to explain each and every word I write!

  10. just so that you know there ARE female actors here. Mariam Rana acts, for one, and a few girls from AMM 2 also came up to me and told me they could act (in case you don’t know i’m in the dramatics committe). but i’ll tell you why they don’t act: BECAUSE IT HURTS LIKE SHIT WHEN PEOPLE IN THE CROWD START HOOTING AND MAKING CRACKS AT YOU. and i know the crowd at tip well enough to know ke thats the first thing that will happen when any girl walks onto the stage.we have girl actors, theyre just too damn scared to act in front of you all.

    and if the drama was a copy of Girls next door, thats ok, who am i to criticise if you want to put it up? go ahead.
    But its my belief that there should be SOME difference between christians and muslims.

  11. And seriously, most people appreciate the effort you make into creating your plays. i found some dialogues hilarious, and the acting was quite good, especially the person who played; but the overall portrayal was quite offensive. i mean i had to turn my head during some scenes. u have to remember that the masses of TIP also contain a lot of girls, and a Quran society (:P)

  12. @ arsalan D!esigner

    challo atleast u accepted the fact tht it wasnt our fault — abut the TDT 4 issue ..

    @ hira

    the thing iz ke we knoe that wht ur sayin is true.. but u can play a major role even if ur nOt acting, like write a play or anything .. hum se tu acha he likh lo ge n someothr ppl can act on it ?
    plus whtever i said, i wz directly sayin it tu arsalan D!esigner because of wht he wrote.

  13. There is no need to take offense, it was Vulgar and that’s that!
    Nice acting though! D!rag Queens! 😛

    Would love working with you guys but, lets see am a little busy with my magazine works!

  14. Personally i do think that the drama was vulgar to an extent but it was not only vulgarity which was present Nobody of u who r criticizing did not bothewr to look upon the positive aspects that it was quite humorous there were a few dialogues which made it vulgar and the dance but overall there were much things in it which were worth appreciation u never looked upon those and just for vulgarity u made it a an issue i personally think that people have made it an issue and y not It was made by D! so making an issue is obligatory on every Tipian and specially those who c.a.r.e
    Where were u when the same D! made two dramas in drama festival and we were not apprecited at all.Those 2 were not vulgar at all and the drama festival was only possible because of those 2 dramas.why dont u criticize those who do not participate in any of such activites…………..and Hira sayyed i think u were in Drama comitee u did not act thats fine and thats ur own choice but u could have written something u could have done anything but i think all u want to do is to criticize people willing to work…..Thats Great

  15. That’s a point well raised. I’ve heard a lot of people comment that the acting was good. It was just the explicit acting that got a lot of people upset.

    Glad to see that you c.a.r.e.D! enough to comment.

  16. @ Moiz
    instead of getting offended actually try paying attention to what’s being said. we HAVE appreciated the acting and dialogues. if we’re pointing out that some aspects were vulgar (something YOU people accept too!) the purpose is so that you don’t repeat it in the future. it’s not because we hate D! and cant stand anything you do. if thats what you think, then youre paranoid

    as for writing something, i have no talent writing anything in urdu (:(). But i’d be glad to help in setting a story,or with a theme and if the role is good i can find you female actors.

  17. @Arsalan D!esigner
    that what I wanted you to realize……..(kitna bura laga na)…… that don’t let others interfere in your business or poke yours in theirs…. if u dont then its a rule of nature….as you sow so shall you reap………
    D!

  18. @ Ahsan…
    i would only get offended if u actually mattered to me… truth is… i barely know you… so what you say makes no diffy to my life…!
    and by the way… unlike D!rag, D!emented, D!eranged and the other D! words ive used… D!esigner is not an insult…!

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