I cannot sit on the library floor anymore. If I wasnâ€™t penniless I would have said â€œscrew the Rs.500 fine, Iâ€™m sitting right where I want to!â€ but I canâ€™t afford rebellion. Damn.
Iâ€™ve started work on my print, my first weaving sample is complete and I think I can manage to pass in CAD/CAM. Iâ€™m not going to drive myself crazy like I did last year. Itâ€™s good to be work-conscious but you shouldnâ€™t make it your top-priority, because in the end you wonâ€™t remember the crazy amount of effort you put in, youâ€™ll remember the fun you had. And I didnâ€™t have fun last year at all. Even in first year, I remember the sheer excitement and joy of our newborn freedom, of having friends, of being a part of this vibrant, beautiful place with a lake and a walkway and a fertilizer factory cum cruise ship that sparkled in the night; the only assignments I remember doing are the ones where Awzeen, Shazia, Mariam, Mutahira and I were cramped together in our hostel rooms trying to paint perfect, strokeless strips of paper, or reproducing magazine cutouts using poster color. I remember the night before Valentines Day when we had a mini-competition on who would get the first Valentine sms, and Mutahira went crazy and started cussing all the guys she knew for being insensitive, careless jerks. I think Awzeen wonâ€¦Iâ€™m not sure. I know I certainly didnâ€™t.
Nothing is the same anymore. A lot of people we loved have graduated, and the ones that are leftâ€¦well we donâ€™t have any time to spend with them. Iâ€™m a stranger now to the people Iâ€™ve been friends with since the first day of university. I could blame it on the Administration. Theyâ€™ve killed the hostel night-life, theyâ€™ve made sure that we have no time whatsoever to have fun, theyâ€™ve given the cafeteria over to a group that canâ€™t cook at allâ€¦Nope, not enough reasons. Sigh. Since I canâ€™t really blame it on the Administration, Iâ€™ll have to blame it on myself. We have to learn to take out time for the people who are important to us. If I canâ€™t do that, itâ€™s my own fault.